Day 20 Hope

I think the quarantine is starting to get to everyone.

Until now I was sure that the girls hadn’t really noticed. As I type I recognize my deep denial. But I still consider myself very lucky that at ages 2 and 4 they are doing mostly the same things that they always did.

A closer look reveals that they haven’t seen their teachers or any other children in weeks. Their Grandma from America, who was supposed to be here right now, is only available by Skype and because their German Oma is quarantined at home, the same goes for her. The play grounds are closed, so what motivation we had to go for a walk is lost. While I’m proud of all the creative ways we are passing the time, the weeks are not really punctuated by anything. This is monumental change for them– of course they noticed.

The challenge of it all has kept my energy level high but I guess it’s getting to me too. By the end of today, my ears were just exhausted from conflicting views, the uncertainty and all the talking, the whining, the hysterics, the bickering, the near death, blood curdling screams because Little Bean could not figure out how to get her jacket off…

In more cheerful news Daddy and Big Sister went on their first bike ride together! (Usually Daddy is just running along side her.) And Little Bean noticed that I was speaking English on the phone and then switched to German and she asked me about it. Danke? She said. That’s not English.

And so I’ve been clinging to the idea that sometimes it is the sheer force of nature, driving us forward. Like the Grinch cannot stop Christmas from coming, this virus cannot keep Spring –in all its fullness and fierceness and fragrance–from Springing. Quarantine or not, my Little Bi-lingual Bean is getting the hang of two languages, and hearing the differences well enough to point them out.

Concrete evidence of growth (and I don’t mean the exponential growth of this virus) provides so much hope right now. I encourage you to force yourself on your next walk to take note of the bursting buds on the trees and the spring hues popping up all over. This is nature’s encouragement. You can keep going, there is more to see here.

In the meantime, I’m seriously considering trying to set up some kind of obstacle course in the back yard because the girls are literally so wound up that they were bopping all over their chairs at the dinner table and practically running laps around the bathroom before bath time.

Until tomorrow


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