Day 21 Pure Magic

When I was 20 years old I was lucky enough to be hired as a performer in a production of Phantom.

The show ran for five months. We performed 9 shows a week. About three months into the run, I got so sick of it– the same lines, the same blocking, the choreography, the schedule night after night, day after day. I remember calling my mom and saying, I just don’t think I can stand to say these lines one more time.

Of course I said my lines one more time. I probably said them 100 more times. The point is: just when I thought I couldn’t stand it for one more second, the feeling passed. After that I literally felt like I could’ve kept singing those songs and doing those moves, with that cast of characters, indefinitely.

Similarly yesterday I wrote that I’d had it up to here with the quarantine. Then today, just like 20 years ago, I started to feel free–like I could actually do this whole thing, with this cast of characters, indefinitely.

And the day had more than one moment that made me stand back and think: This is it- That life I was aching for.

The April sun heading toward the horizon while still radiating its warmth. The kids’ laughter mixed with music that made me feel somehow nostalgic about the future. The smell of the grill, dirt under my finger nails, something refreshing to drink while watching the whole garden come back to life.

This phenomenon lasted just a minute. Soon enough the light changed and someone needed something. I blinked back into reality and moved on to the next task. But to have harnessed it, to have gotten to sit there with it for a few minutes was like a kiss on the nose from mother nature herself. Pure magic.

So, why did it take a pandemic, the shifting of our entire reality, the threat of sickness and a quarantine to get this life I always imagined?

Maybe it didn’t. Maybe that’s just what it took for me to see it.

I did end up making them a tiny obstacle course like I said I would. They had to jump on one leg, climb up on something, then walk on four legs pretending to be cats, jump down and start again. Participation was good and they both went to bed easily. I’d say it was a win. Feel free to comment with the ridiculous stuff you’re making your kids do to stay entertained.

Until tomorrow, stay sane, I mean safe

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