Phew. That was a long one. The day? The week? Honestly, I’m not sure. But tonight it was as if both of us parents just very suddenly ran…out……of……gas.
After dinner it looked like a car wreck in the living room. I sat down on the couch pretending to be asleep, Daddy on the carpet and the kids just jumped all over us giggling and carrying on until finally I mustered up enough energy to say, Ok! Upstairs for storytime!
The teeth are brushed, the stories have been read, songs have been sung and the prayers have been said. Yet as I write I can hear a Little Bean whispering from her doorway, sneaking to the stair case. Her daddy bellows and then like a puppy dog, she squeals and bounds back into her bed.
2020 so far has been nothing if not bizarre. But it has given some space for trying out new things. This nothing to lose and everything to gain attitude has made it easy–even sometimes fun. I started meditating. Started reading more. I started making ice cream, flipping pancakes. I started communicating with people I don’t know via Instagram, mostly about recipe details. I started showering a lot less (oh that might have been over-sharing.)
A few of the things I read said that when you put your ideas and desires out into the universe, they aren’t lost. Whether you write them down or just consistently shout them out, It’s an interactive universe, they said.
So I did that. I started writing. Immediately I was clear about a few things: I wanted to get an interview for a copy-writing job I had seen posted. I wanted to set up my office at home where I could work. And a vision came together–I wanted to challenge myself to write stories in some type of forum. Which stories? I wasn’t sure.
Not even two weeks later –I got the interview, I got the office set up and then Corona hit. Suddenly everything about our daily life changed and I had a forum (my blog) and a topic to write stories about (quarantine with two little kids).
I’m pretty sure it’s true that the universe is actually listening.
Incidentally though, is the universe listening when I express interest in my children sleeping through the night and not bugging me at 3am? Hmm, maybe I should start writing that down on paper every day.
This second half of the quarantine, (please tell me we are halfway there) I’ve given voice to my interest in staying better connected with family and old friends. I literally just wrote it down one morning and ever since, I’ve noticed a bit more time and energy for phone calls or facetimes or even real letters.
The one person I’ve had trouble connecting with is my Grandma. Some of you may have heard of her. All the funny, flashy, trouble-making and storytelling in me, came from her. I know it and she knew it. She’s alive but she’s kind of gone already. So in truth, I haven’t had trouble connecting with her as much as I haven’t really tried because it just isn’t the same.
Anyway– to believe that the universe is listening is kind of empowering. It means your words matter. Your thoughts matter. The energy and intention you put out there is being received. No matter how alone you feel, you’re not really alone.
Trying all these things for three months doesn’t make me an expert but I think that mindfulness might simply be an awareness about what you’re putting out there. Believing just the tiniest bit that your words and your thoughts are a pebble in a clear, calm, cold-water lake. The ripples from that tiny pebble are infinite and unending.